Unwholesomeness

"Why is it that you have the say-so in every situation, from birth onward, and I am left without a choice or a voice?
Why is it that you have sent me into exile in order to prevent yourself from having to go into exile?
Why is it that you let me sit here without what I need to be whole?
Why have I been more concerned about the well-being of you, dear birth mother, than I have for my own well-being?
Why is my reason for wanting to find you borne out of worry for you - I want to assure you that I am fine so you don't have to worry about me?
Why is it that I give you so much power, such control?
Why is it that I have often been angry at God for screwing up my life by making me an adoptee, when in reality, he removed me from your life for my own emotional protection?
Why am I willing to carry your pain for a lifetime by letting you have the say-so in every situation?
Why?
Why is it so?
Will someone please tell me?"

I make these words mine.
A letter from an adult adoptee to her birth mother extracted from the book "Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew" by Sherrie Eldridge.